


Something to Keep You Alive

by ameeelia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Family Feels, Gen, Good Odin (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Infinity War (Marvel Comics), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Not Beta Read, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Suicidal Thoughts, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor Gets Many Hugs, Thor Gets a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 05:17:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17016462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ameeelia/pseuds/ameeelia
Summary: “You understand, boy? You’re about to take the full force of a star. It’ll kill you.”“Only if I die.”He takes in a deep breath. Who is he lying to? Luck has never been in his favor.He is doing this because… There is nothing left to lose.---Thor’s thoughts when he was fixing the core of Nidavellir and what happened afterward. Mostly angsty because the scene was angsty, but hey we all watched the trailer for Endgame so it’s not thaaat angsty





	Something to Keep You Alive

“That’s suicide.” 

“So is facing Thanos without that axe.” 

Thor takes a leap from the platform and lands at the core of Nidavellir. Behind him, the star’s core hums quietly, as if trying to reassure Thor that there is still hope in this situation. He can feel heat seeping through the closed iris, but it is not intolerable. Perhaps he can survive this. 

Without hesitation, Thor places his hands on the handles and pleads, “Allfathers give me strength.” 

The God of Thunder cannot see Eitri, but he can sense the worry through his distant voice. “You understand, boy? You’re about to take the full force of a star. It’ll kill you.” 

“Only if I die.” 

He takes in a deep breath. Who is he lying to? Luck has never been in his favor. 

He is doing this because… There is nothing left to lose. 

With a shout, Thor pulls the handles toward himself to open the iris. Immediately, a strong surge of stellar energy blasts past and through his body, straight into the forge. The light is blinding, and Thor is forced to shut his eyes as he smells the scent of burnt meat. It took him a while to recognize that the smell comes from him, and the stinging pain starts to seep from his skin into his insides. 

If he can take the force of a dying star, he’s pretty sure he can take a few blasts from Thanos. Without an eye and all, he will be wielding the most powerful weapon designed for the King of Asgard. If the Avengers are well on Midgard, they can possibly defeat Thanos and save the universe together. 

If he cannot. Well. He probably won’t be able to defeat Thanos. He probably won’t be able to get to Midgard for the battle. He probably won’t be alive to see what happens then, so does it even matter? 

“Hold it! Hold it, Thor!” 

Thor draws back a moan. The pain is becoming unbearable and he can feel his grip loosening. He tightens his jaw as he tries to maintain his grasp. Even with his back to the star’s core and his eyes shut, Thor can still sense the beaming glow through his eyelids. It feels like the fire already devoured his skin and is now causing his organs to burn and his bones to melt. The senses are too overwhelming, seconds are turning into years, into decades, into centuries. His sense of hearing is fading, he can only feel the constant torment from the force of Nidavellir, entering his body, igniting every part of him, and passing through as he struggles to stand still. He wonders if Asgard could feel, did it feel this despair when it was facing doom and could do nothing about it, alone, when all of its people were gone? 

He lets out a scream. This is it. He can finally rejoin with his family, his friends, and his people. 

Almost in command, the intense pain stops. Not entirely, but Thor can feel his pulse decreasing as the heat all over his body seeps into his blood and combines with the electric currents flowing in them. The metal lever he was holding seems to have disappeared, as he can no longer feel anything in his fists. With uncertainty, Thor opens his eyes and finds himself looking at nothing. There is nothing but whiteness in front of him, above him, and beneath him. He is not sure if he is even stepping on a surface or if he is floating in the air, but there is no shadow below where he is standing. One moment he was screaming at the core of a dying star, the next he is standing at an empty space, alone, and confused. 

Is he dead? 

“Son.” 

A familiar deep voice breaks the silence from behind. Thor immediately looks to the source of the voice and finds his father looking back at him. Odin is wearing a beige suit, just like the vision Thor had before he was nearly killed by Hela. Something is different though. His father is not wearing an eyepatch and is looking at him with two eyes. The corners of his eyes crinkles as Thor lets out a gasp, and Odin’s mouth curves into a smile. Thor does not know if he is hallucinating or if this is what death looks like, but he does not care. The sight of his father, well and untroubled, took away whatever energy that kept Thor standing. He drops down on his knees and looks up to Odin with his widened eyes, taking in every detail he has forgotten about his father. He has so many things he wants to say, but he is afraid that if he speaks, this person in front of him will not answer because it is all just an illusion. 

“Son.” Odin walks towards his kneeling son and urges him to stand up with a soft touch on his shoulders, “You should not be here yet. It is too early.” 

Thor can feel the warmth through the hands. He might not be hallucinating, which means that he is probably dead now. Sorrow and shame flood over him as he realizes what this means, and he finds it difficult to look directly at his father. He stands up but averts his gaze from his father and stammers, “I have failed Asgard, I couldn’t protect my people… I am not strong like you.” 

“Son. Ragnarok was inevitable.” As a King, Odin has never kneeled to show any sign of weakness, but he does not force his son to look up. Thor’s arrogance may have been his fault since a young age, but now that he has lost all his pride and confidence, it is not a comforting sight. Perhaps he is not ready to rule yet, but how can one rule a fallen kingdom when one is alone with no support and guidance. Odin sighs inwardly as he knows that he owed too much to all of his children on their journey in life. 

“Thanos had an army and an Infinity Stone when you were facing him, you could not have killed him alone. You will need an army to fight against an army, but how can you rebuild one so quickly right after the Ragnarok?” The Allfather gives him a pat on the shoulder, “Fate can be troubling, but you have grown so much despite the circumstances, into such a well-loved and respected King. Asgard is proud of you.” 

It is rare for Odin to outright praise his son. The words are comforting, but for some reason, it feels like it tore open wounds that Thor thought he did not have. He thought he already shed all his tears when half of the Asgardian race was murdered, and yet he starts to feel water welling up in his eyes. A sob escapes from his mouth, and he covers his face with trembling hands as tears start to roll down his cheeks. “I am sorry father, I am s-so sorry.” 

His father did not respond. Instead, a pair of arms is wrapped around him as he hears a gentle feminine voice, “Son, you have done all you can. I am sorry that you have to witness our deaths. We never wanted you to grief or mourn for us in such circumstances.” 

“Mother!” Thor drops his hands from his face and beams as he recognizes the person behind the voice. He returns the hug with a sense of urgency while he continues to weep in his mother’s warm embrace. His frame is much larger than his mother’s, but he feels so protected within the strong arms from the woman who gave birth to him. He has missed this so much. 

“I-I am sorry. I c-could not save you, if I ran a bit f-faster...” 

“Fate is something we have no control over, even as a god. It is difficult, but draw strength from these experiences, from your victories and your failures, and we will watch over you as you continue your journey.” Fridda gives a peck on Thor’s cheeks and tightens her embrace, “I have seen you grow so much and your father and I are so, so proud of you, son. ” 

Thor breathes in and out slowly, following the pace of his mother’s rhythmic pats on his back. He feels like he is a child again, seeking for his mother’s comfort after a horrible nightmare. The tears stopped rolling as his muscles lose its tension and he melts into his mother’s embrace. He bathes in this precious moment and finally feels calm. 

Just when he looks up from his mother’s shoulders to thank her for her words, he sees a familiar figure standing not so far behind Frigga. 

“Loki!” Thor stares at the blue figure. Loki is standing in his Jotunn form with his eyes glistening, likely due to the shade of red. Loki responds to his brother’s surprise with a playful smirk, “I don’t expect you to hug me in this form, you might get frostbites afterlife.” 

Thor feels a slight push from his mother as she chuckles and turns her head towards Loki. He wants to stay in her arms forever, but he also wants to be sure that his brother is truly in front of him, and so he clutches onto Loki and squeezes his arms around his brother before he can escape. His brother is cold, but it perfectly soothes the faint burns lingering over his body. It feels as if the fire inside is extinguished just by this contact, and the pain is relieved as cold water flows through each and one of his organs. 

“Stop it, oaf, you are suffocating me!” Thor makes sure that his brother was only exaggerating and does not loosen his grip. His brother sacrificed himself to kill the Titan, and yet Thor’s last words to him were full of blame. When he watched his brother kicking and struggling against Thanos’ grasp, Thor couldn’t do anything to help because he was not powerful enough. 

“You are not the worst, sorry brother, I am the worst.” Thor stifles a sob as shame and devastation return to him. What kind of good brother is he if he cannot protect his younger brother? 

“Can you hear yourself?” Thor can feel Loki’s mouth moving against his cloth as his voice remains muffled, “Of course I’m not the worst, and as my brother, you’re not that bad either. Stop fishing for compliments.” 

Thor knows that he’s supposed to laugh at that, but he could only force a weak chuckle as he continues to burrow his face in his brother’s neck. He has seen Loki die in front of him several times, and yet every time he feels the same and every time he mourns. This last time hits him hard not only because he couldn’t do anything about the death, but because Loki was the only family he had left. Thor has thought that they can rebuild Asgard back to prosperity throughout the centuries and live like the brothers they were before his coronation, but this will never happen anymore. His brother died by a brutal snap in the neck, and he was the only one left in his family. 

“You should just be brothers with the Hulk, you both have thick skin and impractical brains.” Sensing Thor’s sorrow, Loki lowers his hands but slaps Thor hard at his back before returning a hug. “If that rabbit can steal an eyeball from someone with no magic, he might be able to tinker with the mechanism of Nidavellir. If it can't, you can find someone who has the ability to fix it while you work with the Midgardian and buy more time. Thanos may have two stones now, but the Midgardians also have two.” 

“There isn’t time to buy. If Thanos get the third stone...” 

“If Thanos get the third stone, you can still hide or destroy the two leftovers. There are still so many more things you can do before killing yourself. If you die too, who will avenge for us?” 

Thor remains silent. He does not want to say how he has already given up when he leaped to Nidavellir’s core. He only nods silently, knowing that Loki can feel it even though he can’t see or hear from him, hoping he can’t read Thor’s mind like he always does. 

But Loki seems to know exactly what Thor was thinking. His voice softens, “I won’t be doing the strategizing for you anymore, but you always survived when I wasn’t with you on your little adventures with the Warriors Three.” The tenderness did not last long, “Obviously you won’t have my intelligence. I won’t ask too much from you, let's just start by thinking of three plans before every action.” 

Thor sighs and lets go of his grasp. It must have taken all the strength for his brother to comfort him, for Loki was unable to push Thor away even though Thor wasn’t holding on him that tight, just in case Loki really will suffocate. Loki immediately takes a few steps back and away from Thor, making sure that he is at least at an arms length away from further assault. 

The comfort from his family has soothed the hopelessness Thor has been feeling since he has become King. He smiles and turns to his parents for another hug, but Odin stops him from moving forward. “You have been here long enough. It is time for you to go back.” 

All of a sudden, Thor feels a drag beneath him and he looks down to see a golden sigil forming at where he is standing. He looks back up and sees his family, along with many familiar Asgardian faces behind them, waving and smiling at him. Thor tries to reach for them, but it feels as if invisible ropes are binding his entire torso as his body did not listen to his command. 

The faces begin to fade. From afar, he could hear Loki laughing, “The sun will shine on us again. I know you will make sure of it.” 

Suddenly, the light around him vanishes and leaves him in pitch darkness. It feels as if he is falling into a bottomless pit, but the drop is not uncomfortable. The reunion is too short, but he has seen his family and knows that Asgard does not want him to die. At least not before he avenges for his family and people. 

Thor wakes as sharp pain returns to his body. He is now back at the pod with the rabbit jumping around him in anxiety. He twitches his fingers and can feel his power, stronger than ever. Maybe Asgard also made sure he won’t die so easily next time. Thor struggles as he turns toward the Stormbreaker, which is now surrounded by bright lightning sparks. As his weapon flies towards him, Thor feels lightning surging through his body. 

The rabbit let out a surprised yelp, “Thor you’re not dead!” 

He was dead, he just came back alive. Thor has a mission, and he will not fail this time. He picks up the Stormbreaker and smiles, “Let’s go kill Thanos.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta read so if you see too many mistakes I'M SORRY PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY  
> I did so much research on “how to help others grieve” cause Fridda is that person who just knows how to handle these things and I’m not so it was hard to write down something I don't know how to say lollll  
> ANYWAYSSS Thank you so much for reading <3 I hope you enjoyed this!!


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